Protect Marriage Amendment

I want to let you know that I am starting a petition to further define marriage. Since most divorces happen when the bride and groom are under 21, I propose raising the minimum age to 21.

I further propose that marriage should be limited to one man and one woman who are no more than 5 years apart in age. This would stop gold diggers from marrying an elderly person and waiting to inherit their fortune. Also, divorce is much more likely when there is a large age difference.

I also propose that marriages between people of different races be outlawed. Such marriages are just disgusting.

Let us also pass amendments making adulterers ineligible for marriage, and make adultery a crime eligible for prison time!

Furthermore, if such a ballot measure were to pass, all current marriages that are outside of the bounds of these new rules would be invalidated.

If people complain, tell them they have no 'right' to marry. If they further complain, accuse them of wanting 'special rights', since they do have the ability to marry within the rules.

Let us move on to children. Let's protect children from bad parents. Since a home with a married man and woman is the "proper place to raise children", let us take away children from those people who are not married. If a parent has a criminal record, let us also take away their children.

We have already opened Pandora's box, what's the harm?

In order to get the signatures to put this on the ballot, I will use deceptive tactics. I will tell individuals that the petition is to put more funds into education. I will give them the education petition, have them read and sign it. Then, I will ask them to sign a 'backup copy', which will include my devious petition.

I will then take money from special interest groups who are just crazy enough to fund such a campaign. I would use the money to skew the issues, spread misinformation, and pay to have studies done to support my cause. Once the studies are complete, I will launch a media blitz to get the word out that we are trying to "Protect Marriage, Protect Children". Most people won't read it, they will just assume it is geared toward those faggots and dykes they all hate.

As a result, the "pursuit of happiness" for millions of hard working Americans will be halted, and my plan will be incorporated into the constitution of every state and nation who's citizens are willing to blindly pass it. Civil rights don't matter, as long as my beliefs are forced upon those with whom I disagree. This is all despite the fact that these people have done nothing to me, and pose absolutely no threat to me.

Oh, one more thing. I will use the religious and political institutions I have infected to demonize, demoralize, and alienate anyone who dares challenge my 'values'.

***Please note, I am really not starting such a petition. This is only meant to help people understand how their vote opens pandora's box, and sets us on a slippery slope toward theocracy, as opposed to Democracy.